Is it only me who feels like this?

Have just finished the rough draft of my mss. I say ‘finish’ very loosely cos I still have to go back and revise the sex scenes as requested by the editor but there’s a whole book to work with now.


I’m stoked, don’t get me wrong, but reading back over the last few chaps I wonder if it’s lacking the buzz, the pizazz, the flair of the first half of the book?

I’m definitely a beginning girl. LOVE LOVE LOVE getting to know two new characters and writing the beginning of their love story… but towards the end, I start to doubt EVERY single line I write. Is there enough emotion? Is there too much emotion?

WHAT THE HELL is EMOTION?

What I want to know is is this a Rach-curse or does everyone get to the end of the book and think they’ve just written 50k of utter rubbish!?

Onto less heavy pastures. The delightful, supremely wise and ever talented Jackie Ashenden nominated me for the 5-5-5 Blogger Award!

This is: 5 questions, 5 answers, 5 blogs to tag.
So here goes:

Question 1: Where were you five years ago?

1. I was in Kojonup, having only just moved there and having just come back from gorgeous holiday in Queenstown, NZ.
2. I had one hubby, one child, one dog and one cat.
3. I knew I wanted to write but looking back (oh hindsight) knew absolutely nothing about writing.
4. I had just bought my first laptop – unfortunately due to the Rach-computer-curse, I’ve lost count of how many there’s been since then.
5. I had just decided I wanted to write a non-fiction book about breastfeeding.

Question 2: What is (was) on your to do list today?

1. Finish rough draft of novel – check! (if I forget about the sex scenes that still need fixing)
2. Make a shepherd’s pie for dinner, which my kids will turn their noses up at – check!
3. Get my legs, lip and brow waxed – fail (my friend the beautician forgot our appointment)
4. Contact the stupid College of Teaching about my registration renewal – fail (who wants to waste a kidfree morning on the phone to them?)
5. Change and wash the bedsheets which I try to do every Friday – fail (but hey it’s only lunchtime)


Question 3: What five snacks do you enjoy?

1. Cake- anything but fruit cake! Became a fiend when I was pregnant with High Maintenance.
2. Diet Coke – like Jackie, drinks are snacks to me. I allow myself one can a day, unless its a naughty day – like today.
3. Chocolate -need I say more?
4. Cereal – don’t much like it for breakfast but in the evening it’s fabulous.
5. Popcorn – especially from the movies or freshly popped!

Question 4: What five places have you lived in?

1. London.
2. Newcastle, England.
3. Sydney.
4. Perth
5. Kojonup


Question 5: What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

1. Travel more – first stop Hollywood where I want to set my next book.
2. Buy my unromantic hero his own supermarket. If I were a billionaire he could probably retire, but that’d kill him.
3. Fly my best school friends to England to see Amy.
4. Send my boys to fabulous schools.
5. Y’know? I’m finding this question hard… don’t know if being filthy rich would suit me?!?!


Oh hang on… thought of a proper five! I’d get a live-in cleaner, cook, gardener, personal fashion consultant and buyer, hair-dresser and beautician!


Nominating 5 blogs: Ooh this is tough… especially cos a lot of my fave blogs have already been nominated. Luckily I lurve LOTS of blog people.

Becca J Heath





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15 thoughts on “Is it only me who feels like this?

  1. It's not just you! Of course, it might just be you and me, but by the end of the book I'm convinced the whole lot is rubbish. Can't see the wood for the trees. I find time away from the mss helps, but deadlines and rubbish time mgmt don't often allow for that.

    I bet it's much better than you think!!

  2. I think by the end of a book one gets a bit grumpy with it? Maybe that's what is making you feel a bit off.

    I'm sure when you pop it away for a bit and look back you'll be excited with how good it really is!

    =)

  3. Love your list. What is with the bedsheets on Friday? (Me too! Mine are on the line as I type.) perhaps is it our subconsious saying “it's the weekend. DH is home, lurve is in the air?” Or maybe not….lol. Caroline x

  4. LOL Janette – unfortunately they didn't get done today 😦

    Lucy – yay! You don't know HOW much better you've made me feel. Even if it is JUST US, at least there's someone out there who understands 🙂

    Becca – I'm truly hoping your prediction is right! That it is better than expected.

    Caroline – don't let my hubby read your comment… he'll get all excited – lol!

  5. LOL on lurve being in the air. Lurve is always in the air for me…maybe that's why I don't have a set bedsheet day? Oh my!

    Ahem.

    I actually find my momentum hits in the last half. By then I know them and I'm just rolling with it. But that's where people hate me since I've pulled 7K doing endings because I get so involved in my black moment and HEA.

    But if it makes you all feel better, the revs this time around are slow going.

  6. Thanks, Rach, I am a romantic, tis very true. In fact, the first Presents is dedicated to my hubby and my cps. 🙂

    I think I had a breakthrough on the revisions…like light in the fog…oh..now I think I have to do a post on my site…

    And the word verification is 'rewedaki' and that's just funny.

  7. I'm half way through and convinced that only the first chapter is any good 😦

    Love your list, I live about an hour and a half south of Newcastle–didn't know you used to live over here!

  8. Maisey – great news on your revisions 🙂

    Joanne – I was born in England but (aside from a year when I was nineteen) have lived in Australia since I was 18months old! And I'm sure more than your first chap is FANTASTIC!!!

  9. Hey, love the new look blog! And yep, I'm a beginning girl. At least I used to be. Not sure what kind of girl I am these days. hehe.
    Oh and yep, every time I get the end of a book I think it's crap. Don't think that'll ever change!
    BTW, not sure I'm at all wise or delightful or talented. Some days are better than others. 😉

  10. Thanks for the 5-5-5 nomination, Rach, but you know I'm hopeless with these things!

    You're not alone on the doubt front, that's for sure. Happens to me all the time. I'm much better than I used to be, though. Probably because nowdays I do all my agonizing along the way!

  11. Ooo loving your blog makeover 🙂 You go away for a little bit and BAM everything's different 😛 Loved your list. I love beginnings too but my internal “utter rubbish” chant begins around 10K.

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